On 23 September 2010, I cooked Yong To Fu on the first time hands on. My lovely eldest daughter Lulu jumped excitedly over my invitation for help. I was amused looking at her so serious and passionate in rendering her hand. Her smiling face throughout the day expressed her joy & pride of her contribution. These bilateral feeling deep down from our heart bonded us even closer.
The feeling reminded me of someone dearest-my mother who had passed away in year 2000. My mother though came from a "Teochew dialect" family cooked very delicious Yong To Fu. She spoke superb fluent Hakka "Ho Poh" dialect. She cooked delicious "Ho Poh" traditional dishes like "Ho Poh Loi Cha", yellow wine chicken, "chi Pa", Trotter (pig's leg) in Ginger Vineger, braised pork slices with yam, Nam Yee (reddish cheese) braised pork, "shuan pan zhi" etc. After being a mum finally I realised how great she was a mother. Imagined she raised 5 children as full time housewife in those old days when technology was poor, everything basically was DIY (do it yourself)! I could not forget in the first time seeing her ever so happy in her life was when she ran the catering business but good time did not last long that she was dignosed with cancer and passed away within 2 years. I regretted and unforgave myself for not rendering adequate time, care, understanding, patience and needs during her difficult time especially when her fighting with cancer. Her love for me endures even after she died as she could not relieve her worry on me that she blessed me with a life partner finally whom I met few months after she was called by the Lord. She cares that she always appear smiling and in good health in my dream as I know that she wanted me to be happy and stopped worry and regret.
I love her and miss her so much.
酿豆腐
酿豆腐是我最喜欢的童年食物之一。它是我们客家（“何婆”方言）家庭团聚，或节日庆典主菜之一。
9月23日2010年，我邀请大女儿如如帮忙准备。她兴奋地献出帮忙。看着她那么认真和热情，我深觉有趣。 她微笑的脸展露她的喜悦与自豪于她的贡献。这双方向内心深处的感觉，把我两母女的心紧紧蜜蜜的联系在一起。
这感觉认我不期然的忆起我亲爱的的母亲。她已在2000年去世了。
我母亲虽然出身于一个“潮州方言”家庭,却说着一口流利的“何婆”方言。 她煮一手好吃“何婆”菜，如“何婆擂茶”，黄酒鸡，“奇扒”，猪腿醋，红烧芋头猪肉片，南乳猪肉等的传统菜肴。
当我做了一个妈妈后，我终以体会到她是一个多么伟大的母亲。想象一个身在旧时代并拥有5个孩子的全职家庭主妇，一切基本上是自己动手做！
我无法忘记第一次见到她这么快乐过，是在她经营饮食业时。良景总是短暂，她被疹断患有癌症，并在2年时间内过世。
我后悔和无法原谅自己，没有在她困难的时候提供足够的时间，关心，谅解，耐心和付出，尤其是当她与癌症战斗时期。
她对我的慈爱，甚至在她去世后，她在天堂上保佑我一个生活终身伴侣。她关心我，总是身体健康的面带微笑出现在我的梦中，因为我知道她想让我快乐，要我停止担忧和遗憾。
我爱她，好想念她。
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